Why home educate?

There are many reasons to home educate and many families never intend to use the school system for their children. This is about my choices and reasons though.

Funnily enough, I have encountered alot of negativity over my choice to home educate my son, but not my daughter. My daughter is severely ill and mostly bedbound with ME, so obviously I should take on the responsibility right? Well wrong, it's still the school systems responsibility to educate all children and any child that has had 15 days plus off with an illness is entitled to home tutors or funded online tuition. This is a legal requirement and its illegal for them to refuse, like hundreds of other families, we were refused this.

My son enjoyed nursery school while they were in small groups. I tried to talk to the SENCO about his sensory needs and fear of large social situations. I was, of course, dismissed and offered parenting classes, because its always a failure of parenting and never a failure of the system. Once introduced to a class of 30 pupils in nursery and then a class of 60 in reception (!!) it all became too much. It was still seen as a parenting problem because he would, like many children, hold it together at school and then meltdown before and after school. He was refused assessment and referral to services by the. SENCO because "the form is really long" and "I'm busy with the kids who lick the walls".

So I took him out and was met with a nasty backlash of "child protection" who told me that I couldn't do that, but were very wrong, I could and I have. They stated that unlike my daughter, my son was *physically able* to attend school, so should.

Why should children attend school though? The current school system hasn't changed in many years apart from the banning of beating children. It's still made to produce compliant factory workers, which isnt even relevant to the current and future workforce demands.

My son was 5, he was screaming in distress every morning, wetting the bed on school nights, even vomiting before school after they confiscated his lunch box so he couldn't even have his safe foods (no reason was given).

Now he is back to being the confident. Happy child we know, through the NHS he was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, but refused an autism assessment, so we paid privately for that and now he has a ASD diagnosis. If there was any way of ensuring those needs would actually be met in the school system then maybe he could return. But why? He is thriving, he adores learning, just finds it impossible with 60 other loud kids around and who wouldnt find that environment over stimulating?

Our school system has become little more than barely functioning free childcare, or child prisons. Merging two classes of 30 so they can reduce the number of teachers. No way you can give a child the attention they need in that environment and if they have sensory problems it's hell on earth for them.

Deregistering a child does not mean you are *taking on the responsibility* of their education. They government never take on that responsibility, the responsibility is always the parents. So when they are forced into a failing school because its the only one with room. When they leave with no qualifications or completely illiterate, it is the parents responsibility. If it was the government's or the schools responsibility they would have to take a good look at the school system. The only thing taken on by the parent when they deregister (or never register) a child from government education is the financial responsibility for that education.

And of course, constant criticism from the local authority and ignorant people.

2tired and a (not so much) toddler

Accusations of fabricated illness and child abuse used to bully innocent families

Fabricated or induced illness (formerly Munchausens By Proxy) is a rare form of child abuse. NHS choices website reckons that the incident of FII is 89 cases in every 100,000, however it does not quote its source. The government document "Safeguarding children in whom illness is fabricated or induced" put the figure at 0.5 out if every 100,000 over 5 and 2.8 in every 100,000 preschoolers, or 1 child in a million, per year.
FII takes many forms but usually includes;
- poisoning to induce symptoms
- physically inducing symptoms
-over or under medicating
- claiming false symptoms that are not easily verified
- exaggerating symptoms
- obtaining specialist treatment when not needed
- falsely alleging psychological illness in a child

However, despite the extreme and very rare nature of FII, accusations of FII are very commonplace. There is a worrying trend of using FII accusations routinely in child protection against any family that complains about services, is seen as "difficult", does not comply blindly or in any other way annoys professionals involved.

Current training for HCPs on FII gives a list of symptoms which is very worrying. These include, use of complaints procedures, seeking out advocates and support, advocating on behalf of the child and seeking multiple diagnosis. These behaviours are blatantly the normal behaviours of parents fighting for a seriously ill child or a child with additional needs who is being let down by the system.

What we end up with is a system that attacks families that are trying to care for children with rare, complex, invisible, or multiple illnesses, conditions and needs.

I compiled a survey to look at the extent of this problem as I am personally aware of a number of families who have been bullied in this way. What I found did not shock me, but I hope it can highlight this very real problem in our society.

I received 168 responses to my survey, of those 61% had been accused of FII. This worrying trend if FII is very ableist, targeting those families who have multiple members with extra needs, illness, or disability. 57% of parents accused of FII had an an additional need, chronic illness or disability themselves.

One surprise was that the accusations of FII seemed to be thrown at parents from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds:
38 % were single parents in benefits
16% were a couple on benefits
38% were a couple with one or more person working
9% were single working parents
So it would seem that these accusations are not targeted at one class alone, however, families whose children have additional needs, chronic illness or disability are more likely to experience poverty (Kuper et Al 2012). Poverty  of course, not being measured by whether or not your parents work. It is estimated by Scope that disability costs an extra £570 on top of average living costs, so there is a massive financial burden to be taken into account when talking about families with children with additional needs.
However, according to the Office of National Statistics, single parent households make up 25% of families in the UK, so it would seem single parent households are overrepresentated in accusations if FII, making up 47% of those families accussed of FII.

Bullying by social services is of course, not limited to FII accusations. There does seem to be many similar trends through other malicious practice.
Of those surveyed who had experienced child protection proceedings, 59% had found themselves facing child protection proceedings following a complaint they had made. Worryingly, 18% faced child protection procedures after complaining about a professional abusing their child. If complaints of abuse by professionals like social workers and health care professionals are silenced with malicious proceedings, how can we trust those professionals with our children?

Within those parents who had experienced child protection proceedings, 54% have an extra need, chronic illness or disability themselves. Although it may be argued that parents with SEND or chronic illness may need additional support, this is not what is happening here. This is a high incident of these parents facing accusations of child abuse or neglect. A massive over representation of those with additional needs, illness or disability and shows the blatant ableism within health and social care.

This is reflected within the children of the families experiencing child protection proceedings, 87% of the families who faced child protection proceedings had a child with additional needs, illness or disability.
Remember again, that this isn't families being supported by social service, but those accused of abuse and neglect.

"Invisible" Illness and disabilities seem to be a particular target for these proceedings, namely;
- Autistic Spectrum Disorder
- Ehlers Danlos Syndrome
- Myalgic Encephalomyelitis
- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
- Mental health difficulties
The ableist nature of society against those with Invisible illness and disability is well documented and there are current campaigns seeking to highlight Invisable illness and disability.
However this does not seem to have penetrated the health and social care community. Instead of offering support and understanding to those with these conditions, there seems to be a culture of disbelief.
This leads to mistrust and therefore a reduced likelihood of compliance and engagement with health and social care, which only increases their disbelief and suspicion.

Out if those that had been taken through child protection proceedings, 18% declared they home educated and the vast majority of them, 83%, had home education used as a concern against them. It has been highlighted in the media recently that education is often failing to meet childrens additional needs and forcing parents into home education, to then use this as a concern against the parents ignores the lack of provision for children with additional needs, disability and chronic illness.

One major point I feel need to be made is that while there are major cuts to health and social care, combined with higher rates of referral to social services, means resources are overstretched. Focusing resources on bullying these innocent families leaves victims of actual abuse vulnerable and perpetrators free to abuse these children without consequence. The results are far reaching for all of society and require a response from the government to tackle this problem and provide all families with the support they require.

If you have experienced bullying and/or accusations of fii then Fiightback may be able to help. They are on Facebook, have an open page, closed page and a specialist EDS page.

Please, if you have children who have SEND or chronic illness and have had positive or negative social services involvement, take my new survey

And sign my petition against this cruel practice

Resources for parents of children with invisible illnesses

Some simple advice for dealing with professionals when your child has a special educational need, disability and/or chronic illness

1.Seek out charities and local organisations that support your child's conditions, so that you can gather as much advance information as possible.

2.Do not trust anyone, may seem dramatic, but they aren't your friends and its not their child who is ultimately affected. At the same time, be polite and smile and try not to elicit any bad feeling from professionals or show distress, however upset you are.

3. Record all meetings and visits, things will be recorded wrong, whether by genuine misunderstanding or falsifying information  make sure you can prove what was said if needed as your word is immediately less than a "professionals".
If you ask to record anything, you will probably be told you can't, but that is also false. Please see the downloadable and printable book on this website.

http://www.transparencyproject.org.uk/guidance-on-parents-recording-meetings-with-social-workers/

Where do you turn when you are let down by doctors, schools and social services?
The answer is simple, we help each other! Most of these resources are set up by parents who feel they are let down or victimised by the system. Others are charitable organisations.

Transparency project website (ref above) clear, easy to understand advice on family law.

Tymes Trust (The Young ME Suffers Trust) offer support and helpline to parents and hands on help with false allegations of child abuse

ME Association, offers support for all those suffering from or caring for someone with ME

Parents of Children With ME/CFS Facebook group, support group for parents caring for children with ME and the many problems that arise

Fiightback EDS Facebook group, set up for parents facing false allegations of child abuse and or FII in children with EDS, but open to other invisible illnesses

Home Education UK, Facebook page and group, General Home Ed support and chat

Ed Yourself, Fiona Nicholson, Home Education Consultant, has alot of knowledge and expertise in the area and will actively support if needed.

Pop Art Facebook Group, discounts in subscriptions to online resources for home educators

Home educating our special needs children Facebook Group, for all extra extra needs

Home education  and PDA Facebook group, specific to PDA

Your local SEND group and home education groups can provide valuable insights into dealing with your local hospital/local authority

NISAI online college, we used NISAI for a short while, for reference, 2 GCSEs is £1000 a term 5 classes a week plus homework. After 15 (non consecutive) days off from school for chronic illness the local authority is legally required to make opportunities like NISAI available, but you will have to fight for this legal right because it is expensive.

Other online schools are available  apricot, inter High and others.

Not Fine In School school refusal Facebook group

School Refusal support Facebook group

Parents Protecting Children Facebook page and website, resources regarding dealing with aggressive social services

Local SENDAISS team, can attend meetings and help to pull support out of unwilling teams

YAS Youth Advocacy Service, to ensure that your children have a voice in proceedings (unless your local council has blocked such services and instead provides an "in house" service)

http://www.cerebra.org.uk/help-and-information/guides-for-parents/dla-guide/

Council for disabled children have made a legal handbook available for free as a pdf https://councilfordisabledchildren.org.uk/help-resources/resources/disabled-children-legal-handbook-2nd-edition

Please remember to always double check any advice and information given to you by social media to ensure it is correct before acting on it